Day 12 -- We had our first real nor'ester of 2011 today. In the middle of the night, the snow came and came and came. When all was said and done, there was 22 inches of snow on the ground. No car could drive through that so Brian stayed home for most of the day. It was really weird. I mean, not weird that he was home and yet, weird that he was home. I mean, it felt like a weekend but it wasn't. I was supposed to do work but, I didn't. Weird.
So now I feel lousy about myself. But not that lousy. I mean what the heck. The kids were doing no work, my husband was out snow-blowing our unbelievably long driveway for hours so I just putzed around in the house. Worked out for awhile, played chess with the kids and then sent them outside to help their father.
So. Day 12 and I have officially written the most boring entry ever in this official blog. How will I ever make it till the end of the year? I am even boring myself. When I was a kid, I remember a snow day we had when I was about 8 years old maybe? I got out of bed and decided that it was a perfect time for me to start writing my book -- the one that was going to be amazing and make me rich and famous. I don't remember the story but I do remember the spiral ring notebook. It was yellow with tiny purple and green daisy flowers all over it. I thought it was the most beautiful notebook ever and I just knew it was the perfect vessel for the extraordinary story I was writing.
If I remember correctly, I wrote for a little while, maybe an hour or so. And then I re-read what I wrote. It was really cheesy. Disappointed, I carefully put the notebook away in the recesses of my desk drawer, hiding it under some loose notepaper. I promised myself I would come back to it but...as I am telling this story years and years hence, I guess I took a different path. 'The one less travelled by.' Not. I just abandoned it, pure and simple. Story of my life. Sort of anyway.
So tonight I had this ridiculous encounter with Luke while I was making dinner. I was thinking about how we are disciplining him so he will intensify his effort at school. Earlier in the month he had promised us he would get his grade up in English. And I KNOW he can. But after yesterday's revelation on Parent Portal, I know he hasn't. So now we are taking away social privileges. As I watched him drink his huge glass of milk in one long gulp, I thought, this is a kid who just spent three hours outside helping Brian clear the driveway without complaining. But it is what it is. Suddenly, I burst into tears. He looked at me with a bewildered expression on his face. "Why do you make me discipline you?!" I cried, sobbing over the shrimp curry I was mixing on the stove. He said nothing. What could he say? It was really a very weird thing for me to come out with and I knew it. "I know that was bizarre. I'm sorry," I sniffled. "I don't know where that came from." I paused for a moment and then I added, "parenting is the hardest job I have ever had. Ever." And then I thought to myself, yeah. That's about right. And, for better or worse, I am not abandoning it. So there.
No comments:
Post a Comment