February 20 -- I really cannot think straight today. There are so many things going on right now and I just have the jitters. This morning as we left the gym Brian had said he wanted to stop at the gas station to fill up the car. When we passed the gas station, I could sense he wasn't going to stop. So I tried to tell him that we needed gas. But nothing which made sense came out. "Garbage!" was the one legible word that I remember uttering. He was like, "what?" When he realized what I had been trying to tell him, he started to crack up. I don't know what is wrong with me. I give up; I really do. It's so weird. It's like my brain is pinging in so many directions and I just can't settle down.
A lot of this has to do with Luke and his college search and application process. It's exciting for sure but since I (nor he) has ever gone through this before, we are like the blind leading the blind. It is unbelievable how different the process is today vs. when I applied for colleges so long ago.
Tomorrow, he has a pretty important interview and since I am the one driving him -- I am unbelievably nervous. I told Brian tonight that I wish he were the one going with Luke. It reminds me of the summer vacation several years ago when we promised Luke he could go para-sailing over the ocean as a birthday gift. All along, the plan was for me to go with him. (Both Brian and I are afraid of heights.) But when the day dawned, I had such a bad case of the nerves, I begged Brian to go with him. And he did. That time anyway. This time, I have to "suck it up" I guess and just go. It will be fine; I know. But right now? I am nervous as heck. I guess it's a good time to say my prayers. :)
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