My Midlife Memory (Or Lack Thereof)

February 16 -- Connor and Luke are participating in Poetry Out Loud.  Connor is doing the English one this month and Luke is reciting a poem in Arabic for the World Language one in April.  Pretty cool.  Tonight, Connor was practicing reciting his poems after dinner.  As I listened to him, I had memories of my own experience memorizing Robert Frost poems in 7th and 8th grade.  I still remember them, in their entirety.

And then I thought about yesterday and this morning when I tried to memorize four lines from T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets.  The first line is, "We will not cease our exploring..." or something like that.  The key words here are "something like that."  i.e. I cannot remember even the first stinking line.  And I have to say, I really, really tried to memorize the lines.  At first I was like, oh, this is cool.  I like the message.  Thinking about Connor's recent effort with poetry I thought, hey, I am going to memorize this.  Challenge my brain a little, you know?  And I CAN'T do it!!  I mean, if I spend more time maybe but I have to be honest here. Eliot did not use complicated language with big words.  It's a very simple quatrain.  And, even as poetry, it kind of makes sense.  I read it and I think to myself, ohhhhhh, easy.  I can remember this no problem.  You go girl.  Woo hoo.  And so on.  And then I shut the book and it's like, aghhhhhhh! My tongue swells and the words get lost in my throat.  I am in a black hole.  And I realize with utter shock that I can't remember the lines I had just read over and over only seconds before!

So now that I have gone on and one about my lack of ability to memorize new poetry, my million dollar question is, why???  Why can't I memorize the lines today but I can still remember lines that I memorized nearly a million years ago when I was in junior high school?  I am not a neurologist.  (Ha.  If I were, I would certainly not be writing this bizarre blog.)  I do realize it has to do with life's business.  With the brain being filled to capacity.  But with what?  What minutia is so important in my grey matter that I can't delete it so I can fill my mind with Eliot's beautiful words?

I don't know.  I am a little scared.  But mostly I think it's crazy.  And now I am getting competitive with myself.  I have GOT to learn those lines!  (maybe by the time I am fifty - ha.)

"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And to know the place for the first time."



Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.