March 14 -- I am so utterly exhausted. Part of this is because of the time change. ALmost everyone always gets messed up by the loss of that hour; I know I do. The other part is how I feel like everything is becoming unmoored. I truly feel like I am just free-falling through space. And it is a very, very uncomfortable feeling.
My kids are just growing up so fast it's like they are on speed. Every night there a a ton of activities with more thrown in at the last minute -- just for fun. Tonight Connor and Tessa had CCD. But no. Suddenly it's an early mass. And class for one afterward but not the other. But no, then I am told there is no class for either kid. Then told yes. Then told no. Aggghhhh. Luke gets a letter from a school. Which is so oddly written, he has no real idea what it means. Nobody is around to explain -- it's spring break. And the craziness goes on.
I can't even begin to assess Dad's illness. His dementia. It's not even worth the energy right now. So far I have been so strong about it all. No need to diverge onto a road of sadness and despair. Not tonight. There is nothing I can do to make him better -- it's out of my control. I can only pray for him. And my mom who is bearing the brunt of it all.
I long for a moment of peace. But not tomorrow. Tomorrow, the schedule is PACKED. Packed. Something is wrong with us. But the thing is, we are all moving around so fast, nobody can figure out how to fix it. Like I said. I am exhausted from just trying to keep all of the balls in the air. And spring is just starting...
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