September 8 -- I swear I feel like I am a basketball bouncing from one responsibility to another. I wake up and I am the wife in bed with my husband. I go downstairs and I am the mom picking up the laundry on the stairs. And so it goes... all day long. I do realize that I am not alone in this shuffle madness but as I free fall in this state of utter exhaustion, I feel really lonely. I miss talking to my friends the most. I mean, I am making new friends at work for sure but it's not the same.
This morning, when it was pouring rain out with thunder thrown in for added effect, I did NOT want to go to work. I looked at Brian and was like, I cannot stand this job! Poor guy. But then, maybe half way through the day, I was in the middle of a class discussion about a poem and the kids were like, soooo into it and I thought, whoaaaa, this is really, really cool!
And then I got home and Luke called. I hate that I can't figure out how he is doing at school. I mean he says he is fine, he says he is not sad, he says things are good. But then he is like, you know, I can catch a ride home with Anthony sometime...and then I ask, do you want to come home? And he says no. Aghhhhh. I think he is fine, just maybe a little homesick. I have nothing to offer him but my encouragement and my prayers. I have to cut the cord. But it still is really hard.
And now off to bed. Just finished off my wine -- the high of the night.
No comments:
Post a Comment